There are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.

All you owe the public is a good performance.

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.

the problems of three little people in a big world don't add up to much

(On Ingrid Bergman) "I didn't do anything I've never done before, but when the camera moves in on that Bergman face, and she's saying she loves you, it would make anybody feel romantic."

I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

There never seems to be any trouble brewing around a bar until a woman puts that high heel over the brass rail. Don't ask me why, but somehow women at bars seem to create trouble among men.