"The whole world is three drinks behind. If everyone in the world would take three drinks, we would have no trouble. If Stalin, Truman and everybody else in the world had three drinks right now, we’d all loosen up and we wouldn’t need the United Nations.

I can't say I ever loved my mother; I admired her.

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

The only thing money is good for is to buy your freedom.

Rick: Here's looking at you, kid.

I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.