Things are no longer what they seem to be. My telephones are haunted, and animals whisper at me from unseen places.

Today's pig is tomorrows bacon!

I have no taste for either poverty or honest labor, so writing is the only recourse left for me

We have bigger things to brood on and enormous reasons for wallowing in terminal craziness until we finally hit bottom.

Fear is a healthy instinct, not a sign of weakness. It is a natural self-defense mechanism that is common to felines, wolves, hyenas, and most humans. Even fruit bats know fear, and I salute them for it. If you think the world is weird now, imagine how weird it would be if wild beasts had no fear.

Bill Clinton does not inhale marijuana, right? You bet. Like I chew on LSD but I don't swallow it.'

I'm not a liberal, by the way.I believe I have every right to have guns. I just bought another huge weapon. A lot of people shouldn't own guns. I should. I have a safety record. Guns are a lot of fun out here.