The best thing about the Kentucky Derby is that it is only two minutes long. It is the quickest event in sports, except for Sumo-wrestling & Mike Tyson fights. Maybe Drag-racing is quicker, but I have never been attracted to it.

This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here.

Journalism, to me, is just another drug - a free ride to scenes I'd probably miss if I stayed straight.

All the blood is drained out of democracy - it dies - when only half the population votes.

Today's pig is tomorrows bacon!

In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile - and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely.

I guess I'm just courtly until people get in my way. You'll find most Southerners are like that.