If Sunday is the Lord's day, then Saturday belongs to the Devil. It is the only night of the week when he gives out Free passes to the Late show at the Too Much Fun Club.

There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.

Good news is rare these days, and every glittering ounce of it should be cherished and hoarded and worshipped and fondled like a priceless diamond.

It's the difference between watching a football game between two teams you don't care about, and watching a game where you have some kind of personal identity with one of the teams, if only a huge bet.

Truth is weirder than any fiction I've seen.

All we have to do is get out and vote, while it's still legal, and we will wash those crooked warmongers out of the White House.

It is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it.