The real power in America is held by a fast-emerging new Oligarchy of pimps and preachers who see no need for Democracy or fairness or even trees, except maybe the ones in their own yards, and they don't mind admitting it.

Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the head with a big rubber basketball shoe.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

All gamblers lose regularly, but they rarely discuss it in public. Losing is bad for the image, dude. Nobody buys Hot Tips from Losers. Remember that.

Myths and legends die hard in America.

All we have to do is get out and vote, while it's still legal, and we will wash those crooked warmongers out of the White House.

Bill Clinton does not inhale marijuana, right? You bet. Like I chew on LSD but I don't swallow it.'