All political power comes from the barrel of either guns, pussy, or opium pipes, and people seem to like it that way.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Avoid being seized by the police. The cops are not your friends. Don't tell them anything.

I never knew where I was going, but I ripped the tits off of everything that got in my way. By the time they figured me out, it was too late.

Don't judge your taco by its price

If you can't make yourself understood by your friends, you'll be in trouble when your enemies come for you.

The next MVP of the Super Bowl is just as likely to have been a full-time grocery store bagger last year as a Heisman Trophy winner.