Houston is a cruel, crazy town on a filthy river in East Texas with no zoning laws and a culture of sex, money and violence. It's a shabby, sprawling metropolis ruled by brazen women, crooked cops and super-rich pansexual cowboys who live by the code of the West -- which can mean just about anything you need it to mean, in a pinch.

Never fire a warning shot. It is a waste of ammunition.

The world is still a weird place, despite my efforts to make clear and perfect sense of it.

I keep my mouth shut now. I've turned into a professional coward.

It was a maddening image and the only way to whip it was to hang on until dusk and banish the ghosts with rum.

Duke is an ugly word in Kentucky. Nothing in the world compares to the joy of beating those hateful swine from Duke.

Stay naked as much as possible, but do not impose your orgiastic will on others. Don't have sex in the lobby - it's usually awkward.