Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the head with a big rubber basketball shoe.

The most consistent and ultimately damaging failure of political journalism in America (is that it) has its roots in the clubby/cocktail personal relationships that inevitably develop between politicians and journalists.

Objective journalism is one of the main reasons that American politics has been allowed to be so corrupt for so long.

We must have football. What would this country be without football in October?

They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Jesus! Did I SAY that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me? I glanced over at my attorney, but he seemed oblivious.