When war comes, reason is regarded as treason.

The difference between burlesque and the newspapers is that the former never pretended to be performing a public service by exposure.

When you're young, you get blamed for crimes that you didn't commit. When you are old, you get credit for virtues that you never had. I guess it all evens out in the end.

If you live long enough, you get accused of things you never did and praised for virtues you never had.

When war comes, reason is regarded as treason.

Every man is his own Pygmalion, and spends his life fashioning himself. And in fashioning himself, for good or ill, he fashions the human race and its future.

The only thing God didn't do to Job was give him a computer.