When you're young, you get blamed for crimes that you didn't commit. When you are old, you get credit for virtues that you never had. I guess it all evens out in the end.

Every time we are confronted with a new revolution we take to the opium pipes of our own propaganda.

The difference between burlesque and the newspapers is that the former never pretended to be performing a public service by exposure.

When war comes, reason is regarded as treason.

If you want to know about governments, all you need to know is two words: Governments lie.

Rich people march on Washington every day.

Every emancipation has in it the seeds of a new slavery, and every truth easily becomes a lie.