I think the most important thing to realize about play is that it's this thing that's in stuff, it's not in you.

We don't like to think of ourselves as subject to the forces of the world, we like to think of ourselves as exerting that force.

The universe is not particularly concerned with you.

My lawnmower can't change in the way that my son can or that I can.

We have so many choices that it's only always our fault if we're malcontent.

With sports and games, you have fun despite working very hard, even despite failing repeatedly. Even the fun of a night out, you have to get somewhere and do all the conversational, social work of being out. There's effort involved. But then when you're finished, you can conclude, "Actually there was something gratifying about the hardship that I just encountered." That discovery of novelty is where the molten core of fun is.

Forcing your spouse to stop doing that bad habit that drives you crazy, or making your kid be better at math or at art or at swimming, or making your parents or your in-laws not be annoying in the way that they're annoying, these are sometimes doomed goals.