Russians don't complain, usually.

America can enjoy a vital, fully functioning government, with all the benefits provided by Texas, while reducing Texas at the same time.

I don't have a disregard for my reader in humor pieces.

Leading economists have shown that by shrinking Texas, we can actually create more income for Texas in the long run.

Siberia is so big, it’s almost more an idea than a place

Everything in Russia is made of cement - phone booths, fence posts and light bulbs.

Cursing dads are terrifying, you know? Cursing dads are - I don't know why, but no. It just doesn't seem to me that that would be funny. I mean it might be - you could try it and see. I suppose anybody just losing it and sputtering curses is pretty funny. But I think it would be more of a challenge, much more of a challenge, to make a cursing dad funny.