When you ask a girl out and she suggest a bar, you're answer shouldn't be great, I like that bar and they'll have the Rockets game on too.

I wasn't a 'hot chick' in high school. I was 'funny' and a tomboy and probably a little uncomfortable with my amazing boobs.

I don't come up with ideas, they come to me. I write them down and try to convey what's wrong with me to the audience as best I can.

You're not a road comic till you've watched Real Sex and American Greed alone in your hotel room.

I don't hate other women. Let me rephrase that: I hate other women and men - people in general can be annoying - but I've never disliked a woman for being beautiful.

I don't tend to like race jokes. I don't like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I'm both. Well, I'm not black - but if I was then I could dance better.

Passion always finds a way. Follow your passion and everything else will work out.