I wasn't a 'hot chick' in high school. I was 'funny' and a tomboy and probably a little uncomfortable with my amazing boobs.

You can't go to the bathroom alone... you might not come back. Cause no girl's ever been to the bathroom alone and survived. It's true. The last woman that attempted it, it was 1937 and her name was Amelia Earhart.

Everyone has their personal topics. My comedy has always been very strong on observational humor, it stems from what I see every day in my life.

I don't tend to like race jokes. I don't like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I'm both. Well, I'm not black - but if I was then I could dance better.

I don't hate other women. Let me rephrase that: I hate other women and men - people in general can be annoying - but I've never disliked a woman for being beautiful.

I always wished my dad was there to intimidate my boyfriends or something. It's supposed to be your dad giving your guys friends the stink-eye for sneaking beer through your house, not your mom.

Ladies, just know that when you grow your hair too long, you got about two inches difference between really hot, sexy supermodel - religious fanatic. Hot Maxim cover girl everybody wants a mouth kiss - unhealthy faith in your lord. Soft, silky, shiny hair everyone wants to touch - one of 12 brides.