If you have the athletic ability, why waste it in one sport?

I just like making people laugh.

I don't sit down and have meals too often, unless I go out for dinner.

I'm a ninja! I like swords and knives and stuff like that.

I'm OK with being the Old Spice Guy because before I was the Old Spice Guy I was the guy looking for work on his couch.

I will always smell good.

When a girl finally texts me back, that ding on the phone is like an angel singing.