Writers are essential. Readers are essential. Publishers are not.

Some people are born with a fire inside them. The will to succeed. It isn’t a learned behavior. It’s just some unknown biological factor that makes them try harder.

Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters.

As writers, we can do whatever we want to. We're only limited by our imaginations. What an amazing, incredible time to be alive. How lucky we all are.

Sir, this lane is for ten items or less. I’m counting thirteen items in your cart, including that hemorrhoid cream. And while hemorrhoids might give you a reason to be nasty, they don’t give you a reason to be in this lane.

If you can't be smart or funny, be brief.

Fate is a future you didn't try hard enough to change.