All you need to know about plotting is twofold. 1. Give your characters goals. 2. Don't let them reach those goals.

If you can't be smart or funny, be brief.

Sir, this lane is for ten items or less. I’m counting thirteen items in your cart, including that hemorrhoid cream. And while hemorrhoids might give you a reason to be nasty, they don’t give you a reason to be in this lane.

If you can quit, quit. If you can't quit, stop complaining - this is what you chose.

Every tomorrow has two handles we can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith If you can quit, quit. If you can't quit, stop complaining - this is what you chose.

Writers are essential. Readers are essential. Publishers are not.

You can't be both happy and ambitious.