I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics.

Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing. Kids get heavy. Quite literally. They're heavy to lift up when they're throwing tantrums.

I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.

I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.

I have to satisfy my audience.

I should be European. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.

I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.