I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.

Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is nuts. All you gotta do is shut him down and don't support any of his movies.

What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.

At the top of this list has to be "get in that ass". It's the ultimate Leonism to get you through life.

I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things because I'd feel it's not me, and I wouldn't want to come on someone's project and flip that.

When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are dying. The next show, I try to repeat it, I can't do it. Because with the first audience that was our moment. It can't happen the same way again. We were all there: a certain type of people were at that show and we all got it.

I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.