Women kill me. They really do. I don't mean I'm oversexed or anything like that—although I am quite sexy. I just like them, I mean. They're always leaving their goddam bags out in the middle of the aisle.

It isn't very serious, I have this tiny little tumor on the brain.

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

The room was not impressively large, even by Manhattan apartment-house standards, but its accumulated furnishings might have lent a snug appearance to a banquet hall in Valhalla.

After I go out this door, I may only exist in the minds of all my acquaintances…I may be an orange peel.

The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding.

Nobody who's really using his ego, his real ego, has any time for any goddam hobbies