How long should a man's legs be? Long enough to touch the ground.

She said she knew she was able to fly because when she came down she always had dust on her fingers from touching the light bulbs.

Boy, did he depress me! I don't mean he was a bad guy- he wasn't. But you don't have to be bad guy to depress somebody- you can be a good guy and do it.

Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs.

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

Something else an academic education will do for you. If you go along with it any considerable distance, it will begin to give you an idea what size mind you have. What’ll fit and, maybe, what it won’t. After a while, you’ll have an idea what kind of thoughts your mind should be wearing. For one thing, it may save you an extraordinary amount of time trying on ideas that won’t suit you, aren’t becoming to you. You’ll begin to know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly.

Phooey, I say, on all white-shoe college boys who edit their campus literary magazines. Give me an honest con man any day.