If I'd wanted this place to fill up with every fat Irish rose that passes by, I'd've said so.

If you do something too good, then, after a while, if you don't watch it, you start showing off. And then you're not as good any more.

The existence of God, the why of life, was all that really only a question of glands?

Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are... Sex is something I just don't understand. I swear to God.

What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.

Liberate yourself from my vice-like grip!

I was sixteen then, and I'm seventeen now, and sometimes I act like I'm about thirteen. Sometimes, I act a lot older than I am--I really do. But people never notice it. People never notice anything.