Part of the acting gig is when you're let loose some improvs and put stuff into your own words every once in a while. That doesn't get you a writing credit or more money. It just makes it more fun.

Justice is a word that resides in the dictionary. It occasionally makes its escape, but is promptly caught and put back where it belongs.

Me personally, I don't have anything against Jesus any more than I do any of the religious icons. I think they're all pretty funny.

There's something about a divorce in that even if your parents still love you, the fact that they can't live with each other makes you feel there's something wrong with you.

I recommend that everyone in their youth be as out of shape as possible so that when you turn 40, people can go, "Wow, you look much better now."

I always feel bad for people getting married and spending upwards of a hundred thousand dollars. It just seems so absurd to me.

We're not just twice as powerful when we're together, but ten times as powerful.