I categorically declare first my absolute innocence, second my lack of criminal intent, and third my effusive apologies.

If there were no such creatures as minstrel-maidens, it would be necessary to invent them.

Notice this rent in my garment; I am at a loss to explain its presence! I am even more puzzled by the existence of the universe.

Somebody else's ignorance is bliss.

Human interactions, stimulated as they are by disequilibrium, never achieve balance. In even the most favorable transaction, one party whether he realizes it or not must always come out the worse.

I worked for half a cent a word. I'm not a fast writer to begin with, so for the first few years I had do other things.

But I'm so slow on it because I find it terribly hard writing blind on computers. The computer speaks to me, but it's just so slow, I'm so terribly slow using it.