Patriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it.

I can handle being married for my money; it's being married for my life insurance that gives me pause.

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

Such is the demographic paradox of a junior physician's relationship with his patients: I worry about how to extend their lives. This anxiety inevitably shortens my own.

Most people are far more concerned that they can control their own bodies than they are about petitioning Congress.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.