A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.

Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square - but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights are those that I possess in my bedroom and hospital room and death chamber.

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.