Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself smaller to fit inside the hopes of the other, until one of you cracks or stops existing.

This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.

I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing.

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.