Witihin seconds the headhunter had lost control of his car and it squealed, sliding sideways right into several other cars. Cool!' said the Gasman.

Well, it's like I have a GPS inside me," I told them. "One of the talking ones. I tell it where I want to go, and it tells me, Go twenty miles, turn left, take Exit Ninety-fourm and so one. It can be pretty bossy, frankly. Their eyes widened. "Really?" said one. No you idiot," I said in disgust. "I don't know how it works. I just know it has an unfailing ability to point me in the opposite direction of a bunch of boneheads.

WARNING If you dare to read this story, you become part of the Experiment

Angel is right,"said Dr. G-H quickly. "This is my clumsy way of demonstrating." "Demonstrating what?" I was barely able to keep a snarl out of my voice. "How to get yourself beat up in one easy step?

I couldn’t leave Total behind.” “Total?” Iggy asked. “That’s what his card said,” Angel explained. “Totally a mutant dog who will probably turn on us and kill us in our sleep,” Fang said.

I just wish I could walk into my Senator’s office and say, “Senator Dude, Um, we have a problem with these sicko scientists…” But then again, I don’t think we have a Senator, do we? Is there a state where mutant freaks are represented? If so, let me know.

Congratulations. The fact that you're reading this means you've taken one giant step closer to surviving until your next birthday.