A woman's place is in the wrong.

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.

Quick, name some towns in New Jersey

It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa.

The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.