The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.

A false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.

The difference between our decadence and the Russians is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.

My opposition to Interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language.

In an extensive reading of recent books by psychologists, psychoanalysts, psychiatrists, and inspirationalists, I have discovered that they all suffer from one or more of these expression-complexes: italicizing, capitalizing, exclamation-pointing, multiple-interrogating, and itemizing. These are all forms of what the psychos themselves would call, if they faced their condition frankly, Rhetorical-Over-Compensation.