I hate women because they have brought into the currency of our language such expressions as "all righty" and "yes indeedy" and hundreds of others.

If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps.

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.

He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

No male can beat a female in the long run because they have it over us in sheer, damn longevity.

A peril of the night road is that flecks of dust and streaks of bug blood on the windshield look to me like old admirals in uniform, or crippled apple women, or the front edge of barges, and I whirl out of their way, thus going into ditches and fields and up on front lawns, endangering the life of authentic admirals and apple women who may be out on the roads for a breath of air before retiring.