Columbus is a town in which almost anything is likely to happen, and in which almost everything has.

If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps.

I loathe the expression “What makes him tick.” It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solutions, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.

If you are a police dog, where's your badge?

My drawings have been described as pre-internationalist, meaning that they were finished before the ideas for them had occurred to me. I shall not argue the point.