What would you do without me? Say 'nothing.'" "Nothing," said the Prince. "Good. Then you're helpless and I'll help you.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

Columbus is a town in which almost anything is likely to happen, and in which almost everything has.

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.

Don't get it right, just get it written.

The Old Man ain’t afraid of hell