Celebrity - I don't even know what that means. Obviously it's the same basic word as celebration, but I don't know what's being celebrated.

I'm famous for being nicer to my fans than anyone on the face of the earth because I figure, a) They pay my salary, and b) It's probably like a big moment in your life to meet somebody; so I would say, 'Just come on up.'

Sometimes the way you respond to horrific, evil deeds is the measure of one's self as a man, as a nation, as people, as a community.

Whatever it took to get elected president of the United States, I don't think being a complete and utter moron is one of those predicates.

Give Bush 10 minutes before you hammer him. I think he's going to surprise people. He sounds simple and uncomplicated, but maybe that's what we need now. He's not as stupid as everyone thinks. I like the guy.

Aficionado my ass...I just love to smoke cigars

The bottom line is to be in control of your own destiny.