I'm famous for being nicer to my fans than anyone on the face of the earth because I figure, a) They pay my salary, and b) It's probably like a big moment in your life to meet somebody; so I would say, 'Just come on up.'

My attitude about Hollywood is that I wouldn't walk across the street to pull one of those executives out of the snow if he was bleeding to death. Not unless I was paid for it. None of them ever did me any favors.

It is okay to fall, but not okay to stay on the ground.

Celebrity - I don't even know what that means. Obviously it's the same basic word as celebration, but I don't know what's being celebrated.

When I was in high school, we were all laboring under the illusion, or maybe it was a reality, that everyone in our school was a virgin.

Aficionado my ass...I just love to smoke cigars

The press is like a big bass, you just stick a hook in their mouth and they'll take it.