The most important part of my mental self-care is knowing who to call for what kinds of help.

My family immigrated from Korea when I was four years old, and when I started school, I didn't speak English. I remember that other kids would blame everything bad that happened in kindergarten on me - I spent a lot of time "in the corner" because I literally didn't have the words to explain that it wasn't me!

I'm an Ivy League-educated lawyer, so you'd think the world wouldn't mess with me, right? But I've been paid $10,000 less than a less qualified man in the same role. I've had men I've worked with grab my leg or rub my back in ways that have made me feel uncomfortable. I've been taken off projects because I was pregnant, even though my pregnancies have been both been healthy and didn't impact my work at all.

The thing that I've learned about taking risks is that the key question to ask is, "If this goes terribly, what will happen?" Usually, the answer is that the world won't come to a screeching halt. Usually you can go back. Maybe not to the exact same job, but usually to the same type of job.

Figure out WHY you're doing what you're doing and remind yourself of it constantly. Every day, every hour. Hold onto that for dear life. But don't expect anyone else to necessarily believe you, or know what is in your heart.

The most important part of my mental self-care is knowing who to call for what kinds of help.

You can't believe your own hype, or your own worst moments. Neither is as important as knowing your "why." The harder the challenges are, the more this matters. It is a true gift that I'm so grateful for to my core when someone else sees and acknowledges my why. But you can't expect it or need it. Your ability to really see yourself can power you through.