All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?

I'm not a disciplined writer.

You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

Nothing translates worse than comedy into the printed word.

Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.