For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.

I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.

People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don`t want to have children.

Listen, young people, I understand narcissism - clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that's what's missing from the young people. They don't have the debilitating self-loathing and the second guessing.

I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.

I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?