For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.

Sometimes I am very pleased with lifestyle and sometimes I feel utterly worthless because I have so few interests.

Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.

I definitely get the sense that I'm an elder statesman, but I don't know if there's an impact - and I'm not saying that in a naïve way. I don't know. I think anybody who's been doing it for 25 years is going to be considered an elder statesman. But I don't know if I've impacted anyone.

How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American?

We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.