I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

If you don't recognize the racist element in the teabag movement, you're either dishonest, or you've never seen the teabag movement, or heard of it, or been acquainted with it in any way.

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.

I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.

I think people are very cynical with actors trying to tell them what to believe in, or lobbying for any kind of changing of government policy. Even I get cynical about it. Like, Why is Sharon Stone telling me this? And there's just something annoying about having Charlie Sheen tell me, "It's your responsibility to vote," in an admonishing way on MTV.

My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.