I think what hinders the argument is when people are afraid of hurting the feelings of racists and people who are genuinely - some of them - out of their minds. They demand to see Obama's birth certificate. They claim that he wants to kill our grandparents with his health care. They want to be able to carry their guns into every public place. Why do we need to coddle these people?

Listen, young people, I understand narcissism - clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that's what's missing from the young people. They don't have the debilitating self-loathing and the second guessing.

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

I'm a sucker for any guy with an accent with any kind.

Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.

The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.