I despise in others my own characteristics.

I would tell the Democrats in Washington who are trying to be civil with the "bipartisanship" to please stop and let the joker die once and for all, let the agents of chaos hit the pavement, stop picking them up.

Irrational crushes, infatuations, or obsessions. Whatever you want to label it, it's important to reach out to others.

Unfortunately, I am not one of those comics where it's guaranteed that I hit it out of the park every time. You know, I am not completely reliable. It's always different, and it's a complete crapshoot whether I'm going to do well.

You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.

My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.

I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.