When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'

Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.

I was too ignorant to realize, "Oh, this will be difficult."

There's always [on women's magazines] that great photo of the actress or model lifting up her shirt just to show you the bone structure and the six-pack of her own. It's almost like when horses are auctioned and they show you their teeth. 'Am I good enough?'