You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.

I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.

I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula

Kiss those cuffs good-bye." Lula from "Hard Eight" By Janet Evonavich

A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.

When people ask what you do, tell them you're a writer. Put yourself on the line. Make a commitment.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.