I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." Grandma Mazur

You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!

A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.

He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.

Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients?"
 "Let me think about that for a nanosecond," Dickie said. "Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me."
 "That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not."


Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so to date we've been spared commitment.

I did such a gigantic eye roll I almost fell over.