Arson is a respected profession among certain subcultures in Jersey, and the good ones don't get caught. The good ones channel lightning and mysterious acts of spontaneous combustion.

I buy wine according to the bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table

Men!" I said. "You all a bunch of chauvinist morons" Stephanie Plum - Ten Big Ones

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!

Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.

I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched