I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!

God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.

Thats what her cars do," Lula said. "They explode. But I gotta tell you this was the best. This here's the first time she exploded a garbage truck. One time her truck got hit with an antitank missile. That wasn't bad either, but it couldn't compare to this.

Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.

I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.

Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula

Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me