No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.

Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!

And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.

I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.

Tastykakes are just another of the many advantages of living in Jersey. They’re made in Philly and shipped to Trenton in all their fresh squishiness. I read once that 439,000 Butterscotch Krimpets are baked every day. And not a heck of a lot of them find their way to New Hampshire. All that snow and scenery and what good does it do you without Tastykakes?

As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.