There’s always tomorrow.” “Exactly,” she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn’t starve to death, she decided. Maybe she’d eat herself into obesity and explode. Death by doughnut.

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.

I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out?" Lula

I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?