Happy people are rarely interesting.

No wonder he has such nice teeth. They probably pay him in dental floss.

The next level. As though dating were a computer game.

I didn't bother to explain about the glitter in my hair. I figured they could think it was a family trait. We all glittered, just like the Cullens in Twilight.

It's not like most people read anymore. Well, not unless the book has a wizard school or a hot vampire. And, as a Kari Kngsley expert, I'm absolutely certain your life has neither of those things.

I don't care what you Yanks say, cheese should not whiz.

Aren't fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself? ...No, you're confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks.